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About Portland observer. (Portland, Or.) 1970-current | View Entire Issue (Feb. 10, 1999)
FEB. 10, 1999 ÏTLf r Jlortlanh tfH»«erwr Page B2 FOCUS F in d in g Y our S oul M a te B y E velyn K. R ice C ontributing W riter Yes! Soul M ate relationships are possible. Y et there are m any m yths and m isconceptions around w hat Soul M ate R elationships are and the process o f creating them. First, le t’s define w hat a Soul M ate relationship is. Soul M ate relationships are cre ated w hen tw o in dividuals co n sciously choose to com e together for n eo pp uriuiiu y to experience joy and the opportunity B o vin a W e : _______ TO your desires. A third key to creating Soul M ate relationships is to u n d erstan d in g A ffinity. A ffinity entails discovering if you “really like the p erso n ’ you are considering a relationship w ith. B e c a u se re la tio n s h ip s go th ro u g h phases and m ost people are unaw are o f the physical process that goes on in the Rom antic period, w e do not always see a person clearly at the beginning o f a relationship. During the Romantic Phase, people tend to experience strong attraction, bliss, m agnetism , hope and ecstasy. This experience is created by the re lease o f a natural endorphin called PEA or Phenal Ethamine. This attrac- w ithin a relationship. The second step is to identify spe cifically w hat you w ant in a m ate that w ould align w ith your purpose and w rite it down. I call this a “ C re a te -a - M a te ” list. D efining the spiritual, mental (temperament, attitude toward life, personality interaction style) and m ent phase, peo p le tend to ex p eri ence pow er struggles, hyp ersen si tivity, frustration, fear and disillusion ment. The ease in which you move through this phase will depend upon your willingness and your partner’s willingness to communicate effectively, resolve conflict in a healthy way and an openness to acknowledging your own fears and unhealthy interactions that you bring to the relationship. YES! Soul Mate relationships are possible. And they begin with individu als who are committed to creating the highest form oflove relationships with themselves first, and others second. tionchem ical is nature’s way ofbring- ing individuals together in relation ship. It is natural to feel this sense o f exhilaration at the beginning o f a re lationship and it is im portant to re m em ber that the im pact o f PEA typi cally lasts three to eighteen m onths. D uring the PEA phase, it is easy to o v erlook or ignore the patterns your partn er m ay have that w ill create challenges in the relationship long term. A s you m ove into Phase tw o, the E ntanglem ent Phase, unhealthy pat terns and fears from the past will b egin to em erge. In the en tangle S i á t e / i e J i ÇuieL to Betrug S i n g h a n d J d a p p g ___ ~ B E IN G physical (height, w eight, physique) qualities desired in another person, can help individuals identify at the beginning o f a relationship if their partner is com patible to their life ’s goals, values and dream s. T his also helps individuals clarify exactly w hat is important to them in a relationship. This w ill ensure that you are living your life by C hoice, not chance, and that you are spending your time wisely and in a w ay that draw s you clo ser to stand the physical, m ental, em otional and spiritual com ponents that drive and create our relationship interac tions, we are like ships w ithout a rudder or an airplane w ithout a navi gator and can unw ittingly self-sabo tage a potentially healthy and satis fying Soul m ate relationship. There are three com ponents that can help an individual begin the pro cess o f creating a Soul M ate R ela tionship. The first com ponent is un derstanding S h a re d R eality Shared Reality entails know ing and u nder standing a potential partn er’s rela tionship goals and dream s, and iden tifying up front if they are on track w ith w here you are going in your life. Shared Reality also m eans both po tential partners are clear about w hat they w ant for their life as individuals, and how that w ould be enhanced to share in each other’s growth. These types o f relationships are passion ate, harm onious and productive. W hen challenging times arise. Soul M ates know its about choice, being proactive rather than reactive, and the quality o f the relationship w ill be determ ined by each individual ow n ing their ow n history, contribution to the situation and w illingness to honor the purpose o f the relationship. In these types o f healthy and well- balanced relationships, each person takes 100% responsibility for his or her ow n life and for the results they create for them selves and the rela tionship. Soul M ates acknow ledge that their partner is a gift to help them see their ow n areas for potential grow th and to increase their under standing o f themselves. O ne o f the m yths around Soul mates is “ifl find my Soul Mate, all my rela tio n sh ip ch allen g es w ill d is solve.” T his m yth has contributed to many individuals’ frustration and loss o f hope in regard to relationships. Even if you have a potentially great relationship that you feel w as des tined to be, w hen w e do not under ------------------» S IN G L E AND . -T - J __ ^..—Vintili Fl/ttlZ simply means not m arried or currently involved in a m eaningful relation ship, period. .. L O V IN G M E is a book for w om en w ho understand that each o f us has been given a unique oppor tunity to create our ow n jo y , our ow n m om ents and m em ories.” C om passionate and warm hearted, L O V IN G M E proves that w hat the w orld needs m ore than advice on HAPPY finrl i« ciinn r how how Q m to an find a m an ort is fo support for how to find yourself. W hether it’s dis cussing things your m other never told you or giving advice on how to leave bad m en behind, L O V IN G M E is an essential and necessary com panion for all w om en w ho are ready to m ake a com m itm ent to them selves to start enjoying their lives - w ith or w ithout a man. | I Limit one coupon per person Not valid with other discounts or offers. Expires 12 Feb 99 Second time around (OBS) , r -------------- 4636 N.E. 42 XVC i ! ONE BLOCK NORTH OF N X PRESCOTT M O N -S A T 9 A M to 7 PM SUN NOON to 6 PM. Black History M onth Concert With Gospel Choir Extravaganza Tickets are $5 for general admission and $1 for Lewis & Clark community'. For information and tickets, call the chapel office at(503)768-7085. “The gospel concert is one o f our most popular events o f the year," says Mark Duntley. dean o f the chapel. “This con cert promises to raise the roof with the energetic enthusiasm o f youthful voices singing contemporary and classical gos pel songs.” Next in the Chapel Sunday Concert Series is solo percussionist M ark Goodenberger, March 14, at 2 p.m. Lewis & Clark College will celebrate Black History Month with aGospel Choir Extravaganza, Sunday, Feb. 14,6 p.m., Agnes Flanagan Chapel. Lewis & Clark College,0615S.W. Palatine Hill Road. The program will feature the Univer sity o f Oregon Gospel Choir, Young People o f Zion, Portland Metropolitan Youth Mass Choir and Mount Olivet Baptist Church Youth Choir. The concert is part o f the College’s Agnes Flanagan Chapel Sunday Con cert Series. The series continues the sec ond Sunday o f the month through April. 1 rtFiwrt 7Æ/ Formany African- American women, finding and marrying the man o f their dreams is just that - a dream. In fact, according to some estimates, as many as twenty-five percent o f African-Ameri can women will never marry. In L O V IN G M E: A Sisterfriend’s G uide to Being Single and H appy (Owl Books/ Henry Holt & Co.; Jan., 1999; Trade Paperback Original; $12.95), motiva tional speaker Claudette Sims shows these single sisters that fife can and should be more than counting the days until they meet Mr. Right. A smart, funny guide that mixes the practical and the inspirational, LOVING M E encourages solo Black women to find happiness in themselves, with or without a mate. Highlighting self-love and the ability to appreciate yourself, Sims encourages women to focus their energy on creating a life they love rather than waiting for a good man to provide it for them. She also shows readers how important it is that they nurture them selves while sharing a generous dose o f love with family, friends, and colleagues. This comforting and supportive guide reminds us all that the world is full oflove - to be had and shared - and that the secret to loving others is to first love P ic k U p Y o u r F R E E P a s s e s A T flp S Custom 3taming 418 N . KIllingworth Portland. Oregon 97211 lentine J — Jpecuu Music Galore and Galore Paging (Concert ßor ^Lovers O n l y 3 2 1 3 NE Mik blvd P o rtla n d , O regon 9 7 2 1 2 Sunday, February 14 at 7:30 pm yourself. Since Claudette Sims first self-pub- lishedLOVINGME in 1985, she has sold over30,000copies to women around the country who, like her, felt that their happiness depended only on them selves. As Sims writes,” Being single is not an illness or a disease. It is not a condition. It is a state o f being. Single I nvites Y ou A nd a G uest T o S ee A ny R egular S howing O e ' M urry Sidlin, conductor ANOTHER Bring your sweetheart to our annual fconcert tor lovers” for an evening of romantic music performed in the beautiful surroundings of the «iwfflt a m m Arlene Schnitzer Concert Hall. in Enjoy romantic arias from T.C.J. CAFE DAY PARADISE L m Boheme. love songs from L West Side Story. Gershwin's sparkling overture to Girl Crazy and other beauti Featuring.... ful selections. ^4 Zribe_ Called. Sponsored by the With Special Guests: Andrianoff Family Supported by K lO Jfm 'Vocatist Georgene Rice 6 Jazz N-Touch & Willamette Week Tickets: $15 - $45 'Sew S o n a C o m m u n itij C e n te r R ew Dong V/ommunii & NE Russell) | call: 228-1353 lEtbaiacy2V7,if999 “James Woods ignites the screen...a meaty, major role worthy oF his talent.“ 1-800-228-734.3 8:00 p.m.-12:00 a.m. M on.-Sat. 9 a m -5 p m www.orsymphony.org Desserts, Coffee, Non-Alcobolic Beverages, and Appetizers w ill be available fo r purchase For more inform ation, ^ 2 panjttlon A t the Door call 282 6081 “Melanie Gritfith.Jn her best performance to date." Opening Date February 12, 1999 Koin Cinema R a te d " I f James DcPrcisl. M usic Director & Conductor I I ......................................................... « • • • • » • • # 9 a o f ‘ ** * , V « « « « » «¿4 * • SH *. ■ : T î f '* -z > - life ( a